I’ve had the worst day and the last thing I want to do is write. But write, I must. I can feel it in my bones, as much as I can feel the need to go to bed and hit the reset button on the last 24 hrs.
It’s interesting how taking care of yourself and finding outlets that are good for you, can pull you away from the people that you love. I have been finding it hard to make the time to write when I have been home, because it pulls me away from the man that I love. I know that he doesn’t like it, but he also always supports me and whatever “thing” I decide to do to make my life better. But we went to bed last night and I could tell that something was wrong. I have listened to every person who has ever told me that lovers shouldn’t go to bed angry, so I asked what was irking him and we had to talk some stuff out. And then we had to talk more stuff out today.
How you can love someone so much and yet focus only on the glaring differences between the two of you?
My biggest struggle in life is teaching myself that I am Okay. No matter what. I am Okay. It does not matter that there are difficult things surfacing in my life right now, that there is an uncertainty to my future, that there are things about myself that I would like to change. None of that stuff is in my control. What I can control, is the way that I handle these things.
Writing helps. So does good literature. I do not know if writing will ever be IT for me, but I know that it is something for me. Something good, something healing, something that makes me feel worthwhile. I woke up today and saw that I had 20 new blog followers. Hello to those of you who are new! Please stay around awhile.