I am grumpy today. And I don’t want to be. I want to feel like a vessel of love and light for the Spirit of the Universe. All that good, yummy stuff that I spent my morning opening myself up to. But still, i feel like sack of yuck. A sack of judgment, a sack of anger, a sack of maybe I should just get a pack of cigarettes and smoke the night away, or a sack of cheap whiskey in a brown paper bag. That’s what I feel like.
I know that I am not supposed to feel like Rainbows, Ice cream, and San Francisco all the time. I know that it’s okay to feel like a Gutter, an Ashtray, Detroit, or just plain YUCK at times. However, I am usually not prone to these feelings and I don’t like when they show up.
I know that I can pinpoint the exact moment that I started to feel this way today, and it was the moment that I stepped in the same vicinity as one of the people I am working with. But I can’t change him, I can only change myself. SO, instead of being a bitch to everyone that I meet today, I’m trying to get out my yuck in a productive way. And what is the spiritual being’s favorite way of getting out of YUCK and into YUM? Well, it’s a gratitude list of course…
1.) I’m grateful for great new music coming at me in all directions right now.
2.) My willingness to change.
3.) Friends all over the country that love me.
4.) My nephew who has the most beautiful way of making me feel like I am the coolest person he knows.
5.) My job, for helping me shape a life for myself that is beyond my wildest dreams.
Guess what? I just finished that list. JUST FINISHED IT. And I already feel better. I am embarrassed to admit this, but I’ll do it anyway. I spent the last two hours looking for other things on the internet to make me happy and nothing worked. Yet, I type five simple sentences and I’m filled up again.
If that isn’t the most clear vision of what the spiritual life is all about, I don’t know what is.
Lessons. So many, many lessons. Daily. Keep em coming.