Knowing what you want.

Lately, it seems like every book I get my hands on, every motivational TEDtalk that I watch, and every other person I talk to is telling me the same thing: that in order to get to where I want to be in life, I have to know what I want. Some people shrug stuff like this off, but I cannot do that. I feel like I’m getting a pretty clear message from the universe that is saying one thing over and over again. Figure out what it is that want, Lori Anne Mitchell, and GO GET IT.

Do you know what you want? I sure as hell don’t. I mean, sure, there are things that I know I need in order to be happy. I know I need good relationships with people that I love and trust, a strong relationship with God, a job that I love and a purpose to serve when I show up at that job, a roof over my head, and a future that looks better than my past. All of these things are tangible ideas that I’m currently holding on to and working hard at to continue holding on to them.

But what about those things that I desire that I haven’t yet obtained? Those goals that I dream about, write about and spend evenings on my porch talking about with my girlfriends. Those things that I know that I can live without but I also know that I really want. Things like true love, true passions. Vacations. Places I want to go. Goals I want to achieve. What does my future really look like in my head? And how am I going to get there? All these books I read are great, because they are showing me what kind of writing I like, and what I don’t like. But I can read every book in the world and still not get where I want to be, if I don’t know where that WHERE is and WHAT it looks like.

I have a lot of thinking to do. And a lot of writing. I have a lot of cleaning house to do as well. I feel like my life is so cluttered with things (and people) that are holding me back and keeping me from growing. I also need to give myself permission to think big, because I deserve big. Once upon a time, I was someone who didn’t think she deserved anything. But this year has taught me lesson upon lesson about the beauty of knowing how much more I am worthy of attaining and how much work is needed in order to get those things that I didn’t think I deserved. But first things first, I have to figure out what it is that I want and what I’m willing to give up in order to get there.

I have to start making lists and checking them off. I’ve always loved the idea of list making, but I am not so good at sticking to those lists once they’re made. I get distracted by life, by phone calls, by meetings, by fellowship, movies, books, boys, my bike, the beach, vacations, and pretty much anything else that sounds like more fun than doing any sort of actual work.

I have to start making rules for myself and sticking to those rules.

I need to slow down! Always, the desire to” pack more into the stream of life”, instead of slowing down and enjoying simple things, like a cup of coffee. Instead, a cup of coffee turns into a something else or four other somethings. And above all, I need to ask for help. From friends, who are like-minded with similar struggles and similar desires. We can really hold each other accountable if we tried. I feel like I am blessed with this amazing group of women (and men) who teach me new stuff all the time. It would be awesome if we could set goals for ourselves and challenge each other to work harder to make those goals happen. AND, I must always trust that God has my back in helping me find the way to those things that I want. But, in order to know that God is there, I must always keep the lines of communication open. Without those lines, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

If I had a long overnight ahead of me, I would spend a few hours writing things down and trying to figure some of this stuff out. Unfortunately, I have seven hours till my alarm goes off, and I don’t function like my normal self on a small amount of sleep. Part of me wants to say, “Forget the sleep, I’m inspired!” But the good part of me (obviously, the part that I should pay more attention to) knows that in order for me to be happy at work and be of service, I must get some sleep. So, I’ll do that.

Standby for more… And in the meantime, if you are someone who knows what you want and you feel compelled to share, please do. Also, if you wish to, tell me how you got there. Thanks!


4 thoughts on “Knowing what you want.

  1. Oh Lori,
    I did feel compelled to write back, because I like to inspire, because inspiration comes from people (and friends) like you!

    It’s true, to get what you want, you have to know what you want. If you ever watch sports, they say with some superstars the game slows down for them. It’s like life, when you know what you want, you put the steps through your head and you replay those steps. Things start slowing down in your mind and understanding things easier. It’s like practicing, then when certain situations arise or come about, you become prepared and confident in yourself.

    Confidence is key in knowing what you want. You really have to believe in it, because it’ll make it easier for you to let go of those things that are holding you back. You don’t have to lose those things/persons, a lot of times those things are always going to be there. Especially the great things/persons, they always are still around and never make you feel bad, knowing you’re following your dream. Many times, they want you to follow your dreams, because they want to follow theirs as well and need the inspiration for it to happen.

    Things don’t always come easy, especially when you dream big. But it’s the ride, the experiences, the good, the bad, the successes, and how you deal with adversity. They become your own stories. It’s great to just win the lottery and get what you want, but when you work your butt off someone asks you how you arrived at this and you play out in your mind all those experiences, it becomes part of you.

    I had a tough decision like yours to make several years before I opened LooseLeaf Lounge. I was working in commodites, making great money. Then I decided to go back to school for Bio-Chemistry, but really pursue and research opening a cafe. I had to move back to my parents house and still there until this day. That was a tough, tough decision, I felt like I was moving backwards. But looking back at it, it’s been about 5 years since that happened, I was able to spend time with my father who ended up passing away, I’ve been a father figure in helping raise my nephew. Now, I’m happy to have ownership in three businesses and play a key role in a not-for-profit that I am so passionate about it’s mission. It takes time, but you have to keep believing.

    I don’t read much books, but when I do they are usually non-fiction. Books about successful indivduals. Dreamers and inventors. And success is not only measured by your finances. It’s measured by your happiness. A common theme I did notice about a lot of these successful people is their cadence in their lifestyles. There’s a beat to what they’re doing. And it’s a rhythm. It’s waking up early in the morn, doing this, doing that, doing this, doing that. Making the most of your time. If you ever see my google calendar, you’ll see my whole day set up with appointments, tasks, etc…but I’ll also put things like watch “Walking Dead” or “hanging out with friends.” Your’re not necessarily striving for balance, but more doing what you want, without wasting time.

    I’m just mouthing off now, but one of my best friends and life coach, Christina Ambubuyog have similar mindsets. And one of the greatest things she had told me, is that you have to picture yourself in your dream. And from that point, you have to put your mind in the mindset of that dream. You have to believe in that dream and then know that it’s not a dream and that it’s real. It’s really there, you just have to get there.

    You know where I’m at 🙂

    • Thanks for the comment Lester! I am so glad that you chose to follow your heart and open up Looseleaf. Your business has been a huge part of my existence in Lakeview and I am so thankful for it!

  2. Lori I feel like I’m struggling with same exact dilemma you are. But
    I realized I need simplicity and that there are only so many hours in a week and that to live a fully happy life, I need to do the daily things that make me happy. No one ever said anything big and crazy was gonna happen to me. Yes I want to write a famous screenplay and make it big on the first try. I want people fall over my poetry and call me poet. But none of that may happen. I may stay at my current job. Forever. I may never have children, or a husband. So life is as good as it gets and that means saying no to a lot of things and people, and saying yes to do exactly what I want. No exceptions. But always in the name of love for myself and others. Thanks for your blog. Love you Xoxo.

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